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Life and death football jokes

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I'm not St Peter

A footballer died and arrived at the gates of heaven where an angel awaited him. "Now," said the angel, "before you enter here, is there anything that happened to you on earth upon which you would like your mind set at rest?"

The footballer thought for a moment and then said: "There is one matter, I belonged to the famous St Mirren Club and one cup final when we were playing the Rangers, I scored a goal which I am sure was off-side. It won us the match and the cup, but I've always been troubled about it".

"Oh," replied the angel, "We know all about that goal up here. It was perfectly right, so you can banish your doubts."

"Oh, thank you, St Peter," said the footballer. The angel replied: "But I'm not St Peter, you know." "Then who- are you?"

Asked the footballer. "St Mirren," came the reply.


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