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Tottenham Hotspur

A tourist is in North London one Saturday and he decides he would very much like to go to a football match, so he asks a man in the street if there are any local matches being played that afternoon.

"Well," replies the man, "the Arsenal ground is very close but they're playing away today. If you feel you really must see a match, the Tottenham ground is not that far away. You go straight down this road and you'll see two queues, a big queue and a small queue.

You should go to the small queue because the big one is for the fish and chip shop.

Did you hear how Tottenham has become an all-water stadium?

Someone gave-them a 3-piece suite.

Tottenham are on the internet and they've got a new website. It's called the trophy cabinet.

A man is sitting in a pub with his Jack Russell dog one Saturday afternoon. The football results are coming up on the television in the corner, "Liverpool 2, Tottenham Hotspur 1," reads the announcer in his normal, rather sedate, voice.

Suddenly the Jack Russell dog jumps up and shouts out, "Oh, no, not again."

The shocked landlord says, "That's amazing. Why did he say that when the result was announced that Tottenham lost?"

"Because he's a Spurs supporter," the dog's owner replies.

The landlord then asked what the dog says when Tottenham win a match, to which the man replied, "I don't know. I've only had him three years."

There was once a fanatical Spurs supporter who thought of nothing but football all day long. He talked about football, read about football, watched nothing but football on television and attended matches as often as he possibly could. At last his poor wife could. stand it no longer. One night she said, 'I honestly believe you love Spurs more than you love me!'

'Blimey,' said the fan, 'I love Hartlepool United more than I love you!'


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